Sneaky, Wicked, and Possibly Evil

I am going to tell you a blatant truth: I am cheap. If there is any possible way for me to save a buck, it will be saved. I am also trying really hard to eat healthy. Healthy and cheap do not necessarily hang out together. In fact, they sort of like to give each other the evil eye and chortle when brought in close proximity. But I digress.

I have 3 boys and they eat like linebackers. I kept buying cereal and they kept inhaling it. I felt that not only did the cereal not fill them up(they were hungry an hour later), I was paying a small fortune for it(even with coupons). So I decided to start making muffins for breakfast. The recipe I have calls for quite a bit of sugar but my husband was NOT having the no sugar variety. So for a while I made them with the full 1.5 cups of sugar and white flour they called for. And I put in chocolate chips instead of blueberries because my children don't like berries(they are strange creatures, I know). Sounds really healthy right? Not.

Well, I am just completely allergic sugar. I can't help it. I have this whole rash that comes over my eyeballs and I get mumps in my toes. You know, a super nasty reaction. Therefore, I secretly began reducing the sugar and started substituting wheat flour in small quantities. My husband noticed the flour but never said anything about the sugar. I was adding banana instead. And then one day, after gradually reducing I decided to throw out the baby with the bathwater. NO SUGAR AT ALL! Oh the humanity! It was a glorious day filled with sunshine and roses and pretty little gold coins falling from the sky. And I think there was a leprechaun but I was so completely distracted by the aroma of fresh baked Banana Wheat Chocolate Chips Muffins that I think I squished him while I was jigging around the kitchen.

I presented the muffins to my children. "Come and get it!" and watched them gobble and snort and belch with nary a complaint. As their faces morphed into the usual zombified stares(glued to the boob tube) and the room erupted with fresh farts(unrelated to the muffins) and they scratched and forgot I ever existed, I realized: They had absolutely no idea I had just fed them healthy food.

So I kept making the recipe, even adding things like flax meal and wheat germ and they kept eating it. Finally, on Saturday I told my 11 year old beast-let that the muffins he loved so dearly did not contain one speck of sugar. And his eyes went all squinty and his jaw dropped open, and I grinned and chuckled. I still haven't told my husband(shh!) but I'm secretly laughing my buns off because he is my biggest critic and loves to point out how he can taste it every time I try to make a recipe healthy.

Tonight the house is filled with the sweet cinnamon-ey aroma of fresh baked muffins and everyone is salivating. Of course they have to wait to eat them until the morning because I am cruel, and possibly evil. But I am reveling in the greatest subterfuge I have ever had the occasion to get away with. And because I can't contain this wickedness, I am going to share my recipe with all of you.

Banana, Honey Wheat, Chocolate Chip Muffins of Goodness (makes 1 dozen)

[10 carbs per ounce/80 calories per ounce]

1 large very ripe banana

1 stick of butter

1/4 cup of honey

2 eggs

3/4-1 cup of milk 1/4 cup ground flax meal

1/4 cup wheat germ

1 cup whole wheat flour

1 cup white flour

1/2 tsp salt

1 tsp cinnamon

2 tsp baking powder

15 chocolate chips in each muffin(yes I count them out)

Mash banana and butter together. Add honey and mix. Add eggs and mix. In a separate container mix dry ingredients. Alternate stirring dry ingredients into butter/banana mixture, and stirring in some milk until everything is blended. Spoon into paper lined muffin pans, layering in chocolate chips as you go(5/5/5). Bake in a 375 degree oven for 25 minutes(poke with a toothpick in the center to make sure they are cooked through as oven temperatures vary). Eat and enjoy guilt free!(unless you eat too many-then, well, that would be bad...)