Week One

"Wolfinbarger, you can do it! Push up that hill. Move! Move! Move!" These are the words I spoke to myself this morning as I jogged up a steep hill. My thoughts were more nimble than my feet as I considered my son at MRCD-SD(Marine Corps Recruit Depot-San Diego). I imagined the drill instructors and their words of motivation. I imagined my son coping with Incentive Training even as I remembered how I tried to help him prepare physically. I also thought about all of the wisdom my parents tried to impart on me when I was 18 and how much of it went in one ear and out of the other.

Marine Corps training is tough. It is designed to weed out weaklings and produce highly trained individuals who protect American freedoms. The drill instructors motivate recruits into a frenzy by way of unreasonable demands, exhaustion, and hunger. As a parent of a recruit, my first inclination is to think of the drill instructors as bullies. They scream. They inflict punishment. They restrict personal freedoms. They demean and demand. The truth is, however, drill instructors are not bullies. They are supremely disciplined men and women who teach young people a tremendous amount of information in a very short period of time. The entire boot camp experience is orchestrated to make men of boys, and women of girls. Those who survive the experience are empowered because they accomplish something many consider impossible. Thus their mantra, "OORAH!" is particularly potent. They have earned the right to shout because they triumphed in the face of incredible hardship.

But on mornings like today, I am overwhelmed with the enormity of my son's training. As a mother, I think only of his weaknesses, his failures, and his rebellious inclinations. I wonder if he is hungry and tired, or considering that he was crazy to enlist. He is after all, a human being, and completely entitled to those feelings. Even worse, I long to run to him and provide help but I am not allowed. My longings blossom and wither as each passing minute blends into the next. I feel helpless, as from nearly 2,000 miles away my son endures the rigors of the most intense physical training he has ever received.

It would be easy to get lost in the emotionality of the situation, but I choose instead to focus on what I know and can control. This morning I considered my own journey and how I have learned and flourished through it. I lost 140 pounds through sheer discipline. I have endured hunger, aching muscles and innumerable hills I thought unclimbable. So while I ache to remove the hardship from my son, I am also acutely aware of the importance of personal adversity. Practically speaking, hunger forces the mind to focus. Physical exasperation compels us to probe our minds to produce desired results regardless of feelings. Harsh conditions cause us to butt up against our perceived limitations and make a decision to quit or keep pushing. Consider this; drought strengthens weak roots that in turn build a strong tree.

The inexperience of youth breeds insecurity, but time—and a mind that is ready and willing to learn—builds solid character; a sure and steadfast foundation for life.

I have the unwavering perspective of a mother, with all of its love and mercy, joy and grief, long-suffering and hope. As such, I still see my little boy clinging tightly to his younger brother's hand in order to protect him as they crossed the street on the way to school. I see the firm grip he has on his hand and the look of sheer determination on his 9 year old face. He doesn't look back at me or wave. Instead he presses forward, ensuring the safe delivery of his brother on school grounds. I see the little boy in his Army uniform, running around the corner of the house with a fake rifle in his hand and the rat-a-tat of imaginary bullets exploding from his mouth. I hear him shouting orders as they play. My own words echo in my head, "Be nice to your brother."

"But Mom," he says, "we're playing soldiers!"

He outgrew the uniform. In fact, he grew taller than me. But my handsome son still has a noble heart. While I am certain he has many lessons yet to learn, right now he's on a path to conquer discipline. And I am confident in the drill sergeants to impart in him every ounce of knowledge they possess in that regard. And while I can't be there to watch the transformation, I’m praying for him every second I'm awake. So get at it, Recruit Wolfinbarger! Move! Move! Move!