"The Struggle" or "Put that Craving in its Place!"

I've been a little down lately(hey, it happens) and as a result have taken comfort in food a few too many times. Today I resolved not to give in to my carnal desires, and physically, it doesn't feel all that great. So for others struggling to do what is right for their bodies, I thought I would share a little bit of the war I fight when I get sad.

I encounter sweet snacks everywhere. When I walk to the cafeteria, the "packaged for my convenience" cookies twinkle. I could eat 20 and it wouldn't satisfy the "sad" so I move on. My boss asks for chocolate. I hand him pieces from the stash I don't let myself eat. The woman who sits closest to me offers donuts(she's too cute to smack). When I look at my children, they scream ice cream. And don't get me started on the refrigerator. It hums my name constantly. Well, it can hum all it wants tonight. There's nothing sweet in there to eat! I am starving that sucker too!!

But seriously, I resolved to eat a healthy salad at lunch to clean up my body a bit. It was okay. I had fun with it…lots of tomatoes and 6 croutons. And it did what I needed it to do. It ensured that I would begin to go stark raving mad right about 2:30pm when my true hunger kicked in.

I fought the urge to eat a snack because sometimes I want my body to experience hunger for a few hours. That lets me know it's using up the extra fat I stored when I indulged in ice cream and cookies earlier in the week. I drank my water but the cravings rolled over me in waves…strange cravings that even include cedar shavings(like I used to line my guinea pigs cage when I was a child). Why would I start smelling cedar shavings? Go back to the stark raving mad paragraph above.

Sometimes I need to starve my "sad." I need to put my life into perspective. Being hungry makes me think about what is really important. If I eat to feel better I'm diluting the fundamental problem. I have to deal with my emotions, not numb them with sugar.

The other issue that causes my "sad" related cravings to escalate is a skipped workout. I took the day off today to rest my body, and when my brain is deprived of blood, it hurts my psyche. I don't understand it, but I always want to eat more when I don't work out. It's not a hungry eating, it's a "something's missing" eating. Stupid, dysfunctional brain.

It was a slower day at work which contributed to the madness a bit. But I'm sticking to it. Homemade, wheat crust pizza with lots of fresh veggies is on the menu for dinner. I'm looking forward to it. And I'm sticking to my resolve tomorrow too. Salad for lunch. Fruit for dessert. Because I know if I eat lots of fresh veggies for a few days, it will clean the sugar crap out of my system and I will stop craving it.

My cousin posted on Facebook that her work partner was eating a big greasy hamburger while she ate healthy food. She was frustrated but she really encouraged me(which is why I wrote this blog). I am not alone in my cravings and I am strong enough to resist them. I do not need fat and sugar laden goodies to make me feel better. And so what if I see visions of White Castle hamburgers dancing across my desk? I have never claimed to be completely sane. Besides, a little madness makes for a more interesting person.