Fighting the Good Fight

Sometimes I get so frustrated with myself. This struggle to stay healthy fights against every compulsive instinct in my flesh. I see other people thin and trim and eating whatever they want and I get angry. So I work through the anger and push forward. Personal discipline is one of the most challenging of disciplines. One is forced to confront their own history, their physical desires, and the emotional issues that drive behaviour. I do truly miss the days I could eat and not analyze, or feel guilt, or worry about every single thing I put into my body.

But the many blessings of exercise and eating healthy far outweigh the struggle. When I run up a flight of stairs, when I feel my heart racing and the sweat pouring and get that rush of adrenaline, I remember how fortunate I am to be young and have the option to be healthy when so many people do not.

Despair is a powerful feeling that can swallow us whole. There are days when I fight it with every fiber in my body. I refuse to give up, to give in, to surrender. Even when my heart is breaking over my poor choices, I continue to pray and fight the impulses that wreak havoc in my life. This is my constant thought process: I can. I will. Don't give up!"

Today if you are struggling, I am right there with you. We must band together and lean on each other and do our very best. And when we fail, we must forgive ourselves and move forward.

Thank you for following me on this journey and offering support and friendship. I am grateful to know I am not alone.