Crunches and the Catalyst for a Changed Heart

If you had asked me a few years ago if I liked crunches I would have said, "Absolutely! Nestle Crunch bars are fantastic!" I never considered exercising on a regular basis, much less once a week. A simple walk through the grocery store was enough to make my back and knees ache. Why would I want to torture myself by intentionally causing my body to sweat? I took comfort in my recliner and the bags of chocolate that kept me company. Except that the comfort those things offered was false and my misery was as real as the rolls of fat under my chinny-chin-chin.

This morning I rolled out my yoga mat and crunched my way through several sets of abdominal exercises. The more difficult the crunches became, the more determined I felt to do just one more. The entire time I was thinking about what a co-worker said a few days ago. David said, "Working out only feels great when the workout is over." I'll admit I do feel like that sometimes, but most of the time, I love my daily exercise regimen. Not that anyone will ever appreciate my abs. They are, after all, hidden beneath a doughy layer of fat and skin, but I sure feel strong when I'm using them.

Our culture is entirely too obsessed with body image, largely forgetting that who we are on the outside is not indicative of who we really are at heart. We make snap judgments about people because their thighs look more like lumpy carrots and less like string beans. It makes me sad. I don't care how beautiful Gerard Butler is, or how many romantic leads he's played in the movies. What I really want to know is, is he a nice person in real life? I know he worked out like a maniac to get in shape for his role in 300. It was an amazing accomplishment. But I'm going to say something radical... Changing the body is easy compared to changing ones heart.

Now we all know how difficult it is to lose weight. It is not a comfortable process. One must deny themselves consistently over a long period of time if they want to see their body change its shape. It means abstaining from high caloric foods, a practice even I am not overly fond of. Seriously, who doesn't love pizza? But if you think losing weight is hard, think about what it means to change your heart.

Tonight I had an interesting conversation with one of my neighbors. I recently read an article about her in the Post Dispatch, detailing her time spent protesting outside of the Ferguson Police department. She is exercising her fundamental right to free speech and I have to admire her tenacity even though I don't agree with her position. The current situation in Ferguson is very divisive and I honestly struggle to understand how our bewildered city will ever overcome the perception the world now has of us. But I still choose not to be defined by my zip code even if that means stepping outside of my comfort zone. Just like making a lifestyle change meant giving up eating foods that were bad for my body, loving my neighbor, who does not think like I do, means giving up hateful thoughts that contribute to a hardened heart.

The thing is, I really like Angelique. Her son played soccer with my son and they were also in marching band and jazz band together. She is conscientious and hard working. She cares very much about our community and she loves her son and daughter, just as much as I love my children. It would be very easy to write her off and pass judgement on her for standing on the corner with a sign day after day except that I know her. And the truth is, I really like her. I have been struggling with my feelings about her, and others like her, for some time now. It is so easy to surround myself with people who think and feel the way I do and never enter into the life story of someone different than myself. I am really struggling with this idea that loving my neighbor, even those who do not think the way that I do, is what real love looks like in practical terms. I've come to realize yet again that love is not a feeling, it's a choice. I choose to not hate my neighbor just because they think or act differently than I do. I choose to ask questions about their lives and their points of view, even when it's uncomfortable. I do this because in so doing, I form a relationship that not only enriches my life but theirs as well. Honestly, it's not unlike a 310 pound woman trying to walk around the block. Each step may be hard and steep and sweaty, but with the goal before me of making my community a better place to live, I need to keep taking step after difficult step if I want to see lasting improvement.

Yes, the business of getting our bodies into shape is uncomfortable. We have to take it one step at a time if we want to see lasting results. It's the same way with loving our neighbors, especially the ones we don't particularly like or agree with. One of the first steps we can take is not to pre-judge. Ask sincere questions and listen. Learn about their history. I bet you'll find that regardless of what it looks like on the surface, you may actually have something in common. After that first step, why don't you try another? And then another? Maybe that's the real key to building a strong community that will stand the test of time. All I know is this, nurturing hard feelings against those who think differently than I do may feel good for a while, but eventually I have to come to terms with the fact that it's a falsehood. Just like a bag full of chocolate....it sure goes down easy, but it sure is a pain in the belly when the pants no longer fit.