Sick and Tired

I've been a little under the weather for the past week. It started with a virus--thanks to some bratty kids who live to drag home nasty germs from school and throw them at their mother. My youngest likes to give me kisses, which are sweet, but bring to mind the fact that love actually is a weapon.

So a sore throat turned into bronchitis and after spending the weekend on a ladder ripping siding from my house in a cold breeze, my body just can't keep up. So because I know everything about living a healthy lifestyle, here is my top 10 list of things one should do when one is sick.

1) Rest - It goes without saying, if you rest, your body will fight infection more efficiently and heal faster.

2) Avoid junk foods. Don't clog up your body with all kinds of crap. Your liver and kidneys are trying to get the germs out. They don't need copious amounts of sugar, fat and salt glopping everything up too!

3) Drink plenty of fluids. Water is your friend. The more you drink, the faster you heal.

4) Exercise in moderation, but when a simple virus turns to infection, you might need to cool it on the cardio. You need all your white blood cells fighting infection, not trying to recover from a strenuous workout.

5) Lemons! You know the old saying, when life gives you lemons....make lemonade. Well, I don't really like lemonade so I just eat the lemons. It clears your sinuses and helps heal the errant sore throat. Lemons are a super food. High in vitamin C and on the cover of every tea or cough drop wrapper targeting sick people. So just go straight to the source!

6) Do not go to work and breathe all over your co-workers. If they get sick, they will be crabby with you. My place of employment is a hotbed for cooties. Even the cooties have cooties. And we do not need more cooties infesting my workspace. Take your cooties and go home.

7) Don't complain to everyone that you missed Easter because you had bronchitis. It's pointless. When people ask, "Did you have a nice Easter?" Just say yes and fake a smile. Don't tell them you stayed home in bed wheezing. They don't care. They just stare at you blankly and say, "Oh." And then move on with their life. And then you're just aggravated that they wasted their time and yours asking stupid questions to which they didn't like the answer.

8) Definitely don't write a blog about what one should do to get healthy when you're not following your own advice. Hey, it's not my fault there was ice cream! It attacked me and threw itself into my car and then, I didn't want it melting all over so I ate it. There! Are you happy?! I'm happy. Ice cream makes everything better.

Fine. I really wrote this list to tell myself what I should be doing to get better. It has nothing at all with helping others. I just want to feel better now. So with that in mind, I'm turning in. Sleep is truly the only thing better for the body than ice cream.