Recently I was trying to teach my six-year-old son how to tie his shoes. For many months he would say to me, "I can't do it!" He would ball up his fists, squinch his face and cry. His mindset was completely locked out. It wasn't that he couldn't learn how to tie his shoes, but rather, that he refused to try.
Over the Christmas break I was sitting in the car with him waiting. His shoes were untied and I asked if I could show him how to tie them again. He said the usual things, "I can't do it. You can't make me." I resisted the urge to lose my temper. Instead I said, "Let me tell you a story."
Once there was a girl who was very unhealthy. She felt that her situation was hopeless and that she would never find happiness. One day she became so hurt and disgusted with her lot in life that she decided to try to change it. She began a very difficult journey, one she felt was impossible. But she didn't stop when she felt the hard things. She didn't quit. She pushed through and accomplished the very goal she thought was the most impossible. I am that girl.
He looked up at me in awe and I said to him, "Sometimes when things feel most difficult, whether we feel like it or not, we have to try. Now, can I show you one more time how to tie your shoes?"
He nodded.
I had shown him how to tie his shoes more times than I could count but this time was different. This time he made his first, real concerted effort and he was successful. He learned how to tie his shoes that day because someone took the time to walk with him through the difficulty. I know it seems simple--everyone learns how to tie their shoes, right? But for him, in that moment, that hill was unclimbable. He had set it up in his mind as this impossible thing but my words of encouragement helped him achieve his goal.
Sometimes when we are in the midst of the hardest things we get lost with the impossibleness of our situations. Instead of putting on our hiking boots and wading through the mud, we shut down. We say, "That hill is too steep. I won't do it. I can't. Then we throw away the only key that can open that door. Sometimes we even try to pretend the door doesn't exist. Now isn't that silly?
I wish this world was an easier place to navigate. I wish parents and children didn't die. I wish like-minded people always agreed. I wish my path was always clear. Unfortunately, it's not.
I haven't slept well the past few nights. A serious head cold has shut down my nasal passages and I find it difficult to get the rest I desperately need. I'm left alone in the darkness with my thoughts, an overactive imagination and regrets. Too many, in fact, to count. But I refuse to be defined by mistakes I made in the past. My course may be uncharted but I have some really great maps. My creator guides my steps, even when they falter.
I refuse to quit. I'm not going to give up or give in to my fear of failing, my anger at the mundane and deferred hope. Sure, the waters are choppy, but this isn't my first storm. I'm battening down the hatches and I'm clinging to the one who holds my future. He's not a genie but he does hear my wishes. And I am content in knowing he knows what is best for my life. I just need to remember that when I am frustrated and angry--feeling hopeless and fearful because of my perceived locked doors...
...my savior holds the key. And he knows the exact right time to unlock those doors. I just need to be patient. His timing is perfect. And I need to keep my heart ready to walk through when the time is right.
