More on how I lost the weight and keep it off

I have several friends who have recently begun journeys to better health. One is having immense success in the midst of great personal trauma. The other met with her new doctor yesterday. I watch from the sidelines giddy with hope and filled with fear. Will they succeed? What can I do to contribute to that success? How do I best encourage them when I know the stakes and the uphill battle they fight. They are at the bottom of the hill, getting ready to charge the enemy. Will they duck and cover or will they take their bayonet and go for the guts?

It leads me to question my own journey(again) and how I got to where I am today. I ask myself why I have succeeded when so many fail. What have I learned that I can share with others? Or in the words of my boss, what is it about my journey that "makes me so remarkable?"

I want to be completely honest, I don't feel remarkable. I don't even feel special. If anything, I feel amazed. My weight loss is amazing because managing my body never ceases to be a struggle. That is why magic pills don't work. I am constantly adapting to my cravings and coming up with new ways to circumvent my desire to eat. Many times I lose the battle but I never stop fighting the war. Fail today, endeavor to succeed tomorrow. I suppose this is what inevitably makes me successful, the fact that I refuse to give up.

I had lunch with a co-worker yesterday, someone I respect a great deal. He asked me, "So, why are you successful?" Here's what I said.

I have to address the reasons why I eat. This means doing the dirty work of getting to know myself intimately. Know thy enemy. For instance, I know that I love to eat for the simple pleasure of eating. Food tastes good. Also, I like to eat when I feel physically bad(I've gained 6 pounds being sick this week). I eat when stressed out to calm down. It relaxes me. I have known about these desires for many years but refused to do anything about them. In all honesty, I had learned to accept the fact that I would never be thin because I "knew" I could never live without the foods I loved. I made the food more important than my physical health. And the sad thing is, the more I ate, the more dead inside I felt. That is why I call food addiction a lie. It never made me happy. Knowing all of that, how did I go about fighting back?

Education.

First I read about other people who had lost weight and managed to keep it off. Not Weight Watcher people(though I am not against WW), I just wanted to know if there was a way to not go on a diet, but to learn how to still eat AND lose weight. I began to read books about nutrition and the way chemical compositions affect the body. As I learned, I had little light bulb moments. "Oh, so that's why I can't stop eating candy!" or "Wow, there's that many calories in French fries?"

But I liked French fries. How do I stop eating them?

I made a choice. I liked French fries, but I really wanted to lose weight. In the beginning I allowed myself the occasional diversion to eat the things I really wanted to eat, like French fries. I even learned how to bake sweet potato fries in the oven and discovered something I like more than traditional French fries. OMG! YUM! I closed the door on many things I used to love to eat and learned there was a whole host of foods I could enjoy that didn't have as many calories, were actually good for me(fresh spinach!), and re-learned how to make things like pizza in a healthy way. This continues to evolve today.

Portion control

This is the one thing I will always struggle with. I don't like to stop eating. I call it my "feeding frenzy." I have to make a very deliberate choice to put small portions on my plate and not go back for seconds if I want to lose weight. Is it difficult? Yes. Is it impossible? No. Is it my favorite thing? No. But I have to do it to keep the weight off. It is the one truly difficult part of maintaining my weight loss.

Exercise

I know now that people can lose weight without exercise but I didn't know that in the beginning. So I just made myself do it. I didn't want to. It felt a little bit like a root canal, necessary but not wholly enjoyable. It was not fun for a very long time. It was something I just had to get through. I looked at it like taking medicine. I'm sick and I want to feel better. So I must walk 30 minutes a day. I will be glad when it is over but I'm going to make myself do it. End of story. I still marvel at how I slowly fell in love with exercise. I remember what it felt like in the beginning. It sucked. But now, on most days, I really love moving. I love how I feel while doing it and I love how I feel when I'm done. I learned this from experience, not from a book. I think this is how we all learn best, personal experience. But you'll never learn if you never try.

Today I am rooting for my friends. I am hoping and praying for their success. I hope they find satisfaction when they reach their destination, but also in the journey. I know that I feel better since I lost the weight and I know they will too. Not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually. Because losing weight does not fundamentally change who you are inside, but there are many wonderful blessings that grow out of that bitter, hard ground…things like self-confidence, tenacity and self-love. And those qualities are even more wonderful than fitting into your goal dress.