I need to give up coffee. This comes as a total shock to me as I only began drinking it six or seven months ago. I have heard many things about coffee over the years but nothing that came close to me forming such a strong opinion. I knew only that I liked the smell when I walked through the grocery aisle, but I had never met a cup of coffee I actually liked.
And then my job moved me to a new building. The coffee pot is centrally located and my nostrils were delighted every day with the sweet aroma of fresh roasted beans(okay, they are freeze dried granules but they still smelled good). One fateful, sleep-deprived day I consumed a cup to get me through the afternoon and I was hooked. Soon I was buying beans whole, grinding them and making a delightful brew. My husband bought me a beautiful thermos for Christmas and every day I lovingly fill it with home brewed coffee and gently sip on it throughout the morning. I save a cup for after lunch and my day is complete. Bliss!
A couple weeks ago I noticed I was having trouble getting to sleep at night. I also realized when I did go to sleep I kept waking up. I was a little frustrated and a small voice spoke to my brain, "You may need to cut back on the coffee." No big deal, I said to no one in particular. I'll skip the coffee tomorrow. That was Monday, June 17th—a day that shall forever exist in my mind as a day of infamy.
Crabby isn't the right word and neither is headache. Stress-filled work day also doesn't cut it. Somehow I survived 7:30am to 4:30pm but when I arrived home my beastlets(the creatures born of my womb) tried to make me referee their game of "Mutilate My Brother." I asked them nicely on four separate occasions to give Mommy a break because I had gone ALL DAY without coffee for one of the most stressful days of my career thus far. But they couldn't stop screaming long enough to hear me, that is, until I started to scream. I had to grab ears(the sure sign of imminent doom) and incent them with a dinner free evening in order to make them cooperate. And I still didn't sleep well so I went back to coffee the next day convinced I had made a grave error in judgement.
But an idea was born. Maybe coffee isn't so good for me. If withdrawals are that bad, maybe I need a break. The most powerful disincentive, however, is that coffee curbs my appetite. So I decided henceforth NOT to give up coffee but take a break on the weekends to catch up on sleep.
Cue to June 22nd and 23rd.
I was too busy to notice any adverse side-affects, other than the fact that I was ravenously hungry and ate everything that came across my path. I gained 5 pounds in 2 days. How does that happen? Oh, I didn't drink any coffee.
This morning I arrived at work, thermos filled to the brim of tantalizing, caffeinated bliss. I settled in and began sip, sip, sipping away. An hour later my brain started to race. A few minutes after that I realized my hands were shaking. Then the room started to jump and jerk. I went and hid in the bathroom. It was like some sort of horrible trip. I placed my hands on the stall walls and thought, "My God, make it stop!" Evidently I was experiencing caffeine overload. Two coffee free days had evidently cleansed my system enough to make me super sensitive. I somehow made it through the morning without vomiting (just barely).
Years ago I had a few bad experiences with alcohol and swore it off for life. I've never missed it. This morning I do believe I had my last experience with caffeinated coffee. I would say I'm in mourning, but I would rather be prodded with hot pokers than ever experience that super-jolted feeling again. It was sort of like being hooked to a non-lethal form of electrocution. The truth is, I don't really understand why God has allowed this to happen. There are so few things in life that I enjoy guilt free, and coffee was one of them. I can only hope that the old saying is true… "When God closes a door, He opens a window."
And I really want to slap the person who said that because it's a really stupid saying.
Oh, is that the crabby-coffee withdrawal already? Sheesh!
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