When I grow up, I want to be like my dad

My dad has a saying, "Life is hard." I think it to myself a lot. Because life is hard. My dad is this kind, quiet person who never complains. But he carries the weight of the world on his shoulders. There is a sorrow etched in his eyes that he never expresses. Much of this has to do with how little praise he has received over the years. He goes to work every day and no one ever tells him he did a good job. His only compensation is his paycheck and somehow that just doesn't seem like enough. But he still quietly goes about his business, pouring himself out for others even when he is exhausted beyond belief. So when he says life is hard, I believe it.

As good as my dad is I don't remember him giving me a lot of praise as a child. I don't think he was withholding it. He was just busy working all the time to put food on the table. For that and many other reasons I soak up praise like a sponge. If someone says something nice to me I light up like a light bulb. For this reason I like to praise others too because I know how good it feels.

I work very hard at my job. My boss is a very busy guy. He would say about me, "Margaret carries a lot of water." Meaning, I can handle a lot. Well, I don't really think I can handle a lot but if I pretend I can and try really hard, sometimes it appears that way. He has nurtured and mentored me into a state of confidence I didn't know I had. He is a very good man. I never take his leadership for granted. Sometimes I am very stretched in the work that I do. In other words, he throws me into the deep water to see if I can swim. To be honest, I don't like the thrashing. But I have come to appreciate that thrashing around in the deep water brings about a certain kind of growth I wouldn't experience wading in the shallow end. I did some serious swimming yesterday and today. I expended every ounce of thought and concentration and somehow survived(again). But something changed today. I had this total confidence about the project I finished that I didn't have before. I just knew it was good. So I was a little surprised when my boss came around and said, "Margaret, you really set the bar high today. What you did was great!" And I could tell by the way he expressed himself that I had saved his bacon in a meeting. I was so proud.

There was a time I would have shrunk back from the stress and hardship at work. I would have thrown up my hands and sulked when I couldn't get past the difficulty. But somewhere along the line I learned how to push through. And I am so thankful I did. Working hard to produce a good result is really rewarding. I honestly didn't need him to give me praise but my goodness was it good to hear it.

Sometimes work is hard and we don't get the credit we deserve(like my dad). For every time my boss praises me, there are 20 times he doesn't. That's just the way it is. Life is hard. But if I have learned anything from my father it's this, work hard, complain less and don't expect people to notice. I should work hard for the simple joy of knowing I did my best. Satisfaction in a job well done is surely it's own reward. I think my dad will probably go to the grave knowing he did the very best he could with what he had. And every one who knows him will agree. As for me, I want to be like my dad when I grow up.