I endured the lecture on the drive home. I tried not to cry but did not succeed. At the time my biggest concern was that I didn't get my full workout in. My theory is, when in danger, pretend there is no danger. But as I fully processed the misfortunate chain of events I began to think about all of the terrible things that could have happened to me. Omitting the crimes that could have occurred to me at the hands of passersby, I thought about the hill I had just flown down before the tire went flat. If the tire had gone out 1 minute sooner, I could have lost control and been thrown into traffic. After the cycling accident I had last year, where I broke my front teeth, I probably never would have stepped foot on a bike again. That is if I lived through it.
Last summer I was riding at Creve Coeur Lake Park when a man, who was not paying attention, nearly crashed into me. I swerved off the path and caught myself before I crashed. He was not so lucky. He swerved and fell on the pavement. He was not wearing a helmet. He hit his head and broke his "good" hip. I held a rag on his head to stop the blood from gushing out of his cranium while we waited for the paramedics. I listened as he called his wife and learned he had recently endured a hip replacement. That is the kind of do-over no one wants to experience. We could not have been going more than 5 miles an hour. You can imagine what happens to someone who loses control while careening down a hill on a bike at 25 mph.
Still, I was really irritated about the flat. My husband was mad at me. My workout was ruined. I have to buy more inner tubes(I had recently replaced another flat). And that is IF my husband lets me ride my bike again. I sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way to work(no calling in sick!) thinking about the long day ahead, all the while simmering until my pot was ready to boil. That was after wrestling with my youngest beastlet just to get him out the door to Grandma's. What a fantastic way to start the day.
I had two choices this morning. I could stomp into work, scowl at everyone and continue to simmer about my bad fortune or, I could embrace my blessings, be thankful I'm not in the hospital or the morgue and move on. I chose the latter. I gave my irritation to Jesus. I smiled at the people at work and I thanked God I was alive to tell this tale.
I opened my devotion book when I had a break at work. Joni Eareckson Tada wrote this for September 17: "Somebody's watching. When a young mother in her wheelchair perseveres through loneliness, when an elderly widow keeps leaning on Christ, when Christians in dark corners of the world hold on to God's grace, the entire spiritual world stands on tiptoe, wondering, 'How great their God must be to inspire such loyalty!' If you're alone, thinking no one cares, don't give up the battle. Remember, somebody is watching, somebody cares. And you might even hear the rustling of their wings."
We all choose how we respond to adversity. To be honest, I like to embrace the occasional bad mood. But peace comes when we let go of our anger and frustration and move forward.
Those who know me have heard me talk about a woman I worked with at The Fed. Her husband left her for another woman after 20+ years of marriage. She was resentful and bitter and lashed out at everyone who crossed her path. She always wore a look on her face that was reminiscent of someone who regularly sucked on lemons. I believe she had every right to be angry. But when anger festers, it can grow into a monster. I choose not to take that path. Any time I consider it, I think of her.
May God always grant me a grace-filled perspective. Even over trivial things like a flat tire.
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